Relationship Counseling

 

Relationships are precious and can be, like many precious things, delicate. The very love that is at the heart of relationship can also lead to jealousy, suspicion, disappointment, or feelings of betrayal.

Jim revitalized our failing marriage and we now find ourselves in a more individually fulfilling partnership.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I know that relationship counseling can be a powerful tool to put the love two people have for one back on track and open up avenues of communication. Alternatively, counseling can also be used to soften the hurt of a split when it's become apparent that a split is what's necessary. And, often, counseling is the most effective way to find out what is the best course for the individuals involved.

When I work with a couple on their relationship issues, I like to consider myself a consultant to the relationship as well as the two individuals involved in it. I look for ways to improve communication and understanding, and engender mutual trust. I also urge each partner to examine their role in the problems they are encountering and accept responsibility for his or her shortcomings.  I also teach specific techniques that can be substituted for destructive behaviors and habits that have crept into the relationship. This allows couples to get back in touch with the loving feelings that led them to enter the relationship in the first place. Then, once they are there, they can better decide whether and how to go forward with a rejuvenated relationship.

Jim made a huge contribution to our relationship by highlighting and then correcting communication patterns that had become toxic.

I value your relationship, however you choose to define it, and am open to working with couples regardless of gender or marital status.

In the final analysis, the quality of a relationship is far more important than the usual measure which is quantitative: longevity.  If you are interested in improving the quality of your relationship, I’m confident that I can be of help.

Resources: "Finding the Love You Want" by Harville Hendricks is probably the most widely read and quoted book on relationships.  It lays out a clear model for understanding the dynamics of your relationship, particularly in relating your past family history to it, although I find limitations in the prescriptions it gives for improving those dynamics.  A superior resource for techniques to improve your relationship is any of the books written by John Gottman, who has spent literally decades researching what makes relationships work and not work.  An excellent first choice would be "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," or "Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage".